Lee

do me a really big favour and before 8 pm tonight if you see this post, just click the link

you don't have to do anything more than that.. just click

it'll help some good friends of mine out

http://punkradiocast.com/TOP10.php?vote=4797

thanks a ton

Dez

umm

update?

not in a while

so here goes

i'm living in toronto at the moment

i'm in the whitby/ oshawa area tuesday- thursday

my cell is still working

but i refuse to talk for long on it

because that costs money

i'm looking for my own place

and roomates

because i'm mooching off some friends right now

let me know if you know of anyone who is also looking for roomates

i don't really care where we end up

i just need my own place

ummm

i think that's about all

so

love love fuckers

Dez

ps: were you aware that internet cafes do not serve cafe

i'm disappointed!!

dude..

i feel like ass

i got sent home from work for it

it's courtney's birthday bash tonight

i'm on sick grounding and can't go

this fucking blows

to top it

my myspace is being an asshole and all fucked up

today is ass

and stacey is missing..

what a dick

Dezzy

uhhh i'm not sure when i'm leaving..

but i want a HUGE fucking send off.

sooooo

DO IT!!!!

Dezzy

will someone please plan my life for me.

i'm so terribly lost in this sea of desperation.

i can't see the sky through the rain, and i can't see the ground for the fear.

help i'm drowning.

Dezzy

welllllll my lover is gone.
huge fight to send him off.
oops i done it again?
i don't feel too empty this time.
everytime i say goodbye it gets a little easier.
sweet ass soon i'll feel nothing at all.
i can barely wait.

this really isn't depression.
i know it kinda seems it.
it's really not.
it's more sadness with a hint of ironic sarcasm.

i'm sorry i haven't been a better person.
i know a lot of you know me from high school.
i'm not the person i was back then.
i'm sometimes not sure if that's a good thing or not.
i'm bursting with confidence now.
i'm overflowing with friends now.
i think i like the person i see in the mirror now.
i'm sorry if i wasn't a good person then.
i'm sorry if i'm not a good person now.
i am what i am.
and i'm sorry for it...

Dezzy

this was going to be a really good post.

but i lost my incentive.

so i guess what i'll say is this.

look deep. see clearly. always trust your first instinct.

Dezzy

I never needin' anyone but me
I never fit in with my family
I'm a fuckup I guess I always be
Just an outcast in society
You're a fuckup X 6
I never do alike what you want me to
I never fit in with anyone that's true
Everything I touch always turns to rot
Everybody hates me say I'm a fuckup
Why don't you just fuck off and die
Who needs you anyway
Why don't you just leave me alone
Suck my bone
I never went to church I never learned the rule.
I always hated sports I always hated school.
Everything I did was against the rules.
I got blamed for everything I always got the screw.
Why don't you all fuck off and die
Who needs you anyway
Why don't you just leave me alone
Suck my bone

When you can't say it yourself.. find someone who's already said it..

Thanks gg

Dezzy

me= retarded.
not kidding.

my lover leaves in two weeks.
to live in alberta.
i'm not really upset anymore.
i'm kinda just coasting.
i get to go see him on saturday.
i'm really excited.
i found this out saturday morning.
saturday night i made out with a good friend.
sunday this good friend held my hand all day.
this good friend is also moving away in under a month.
to alberta.
this good friend likes me.
this good friend has invited me to move with him.
my lover invited me to move with him.
i think i'm just going to stay here.

Dezzy

i'm sorry i'm psychotic.
i'm sorry i'm retarded.
i'm sorry i have bitch fits.
i'm sorry i'm so honest.
i'm sorry that i'm not the type that you could ever flaunt.
i'm sorry i'd be everything that you could ever want.
i'm sorry that i'm jealous of every other girl.
i'm sorry that i expect to be your entire world.
i'm sorry that i wish that i could know you better.
i'm sorry that i hate you for not having met me sooner.
i'm sorry that i'll be upset.
i'm sorry that i'll cry.
i'm sorry that i'll spill my guts to see you never fly.
i'm sorry that i'll ask for things when you can't keep a promise.
i'm sorry i'm not strong enough to be completely flawless.
i'm sorry that i wrote this song.
i'm sorry that you'll read it.
i'm sorry that we fight so much.
i'm sorry...
i'm pathetic.

by: Dezzy Anne

i just watched "walk the line" last night.. and although i heard terrible things about it.. i really liked it... i really liked it a LOT... but that's just because i love johnny cash :)

anyways.. nothing really to say... my life is rather boring? haha damn.. i wish i was exciting.

Dezzy

misery loves me

Dezzy

met the boy
boy is aaaaaaaaadorable
going to keep the boy

Dezzy

okay:

computer= GONE AGAIN
virus= wipped everything out
cost= $200 for anti-virus protection
back= who fucking knows

going over the edge= 2 days away

options:

1) either i get to go to peterborough and go over the edge with excitement

or

2) i don't get to go and fall over the edge and into a mad depression

personally i'd rather number one... but i'm so close right now that number two is looking just as hot.

bigwig= thursday
andrew= thursday
control= thursday

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

i think i've gone insane again.

Dezzy

i got my computer back.

it cost me $260.

my paycheque was $255.

you do the math.

i've had 3 hours sleep in 2 days.

going drinking tonight.

spent $107 on getting my hawk dyed.

i hate the colour.

i hate the price.

i hate the fact that i was told it would be $60.

i hate the fact that it wasn't.

bigwig is playing in peterborough.

i have no money to go.

alkaline trio is sold out.

missing dayglo abortions due to family reunion.

SO FUCKING TIRED.

Dezzy

dude.. my life is so boring without my computer. it's so much harder to pick up a phone and call people to make plans.

I'M SO RIDICULOUSLY RELIANT ON TECHNOLOGY!!

hmmmm news:

saw big d and the kids table with the flatliners, mustard plug, bigwig and death by stereo.. i've always disliked bigwig.. but after seeign them live, i've changed my tune and am trying to get to peterborough to see them again on the 13th.

met a pretty boy at the show.. conveniently told him i NEVER use phones and therefore will not have to worry about seeing him again.

the horrorpops show is coming up so fast and i'm freaking excited as hell! APRIL 19TH BITCH! i have nobody to go with, but the boy is going to meet me there.. so at least i'll know one person haha

my big sisters and brother are coming down april 15 i'm gunna shit my pants. i only get to see them once a year (easter).. as one lives in halifax, one in buffalo, and the brother is just a wanderer.. it kinda sucks that they're coming that day though, because a global threat is playing that night.. so if they decide to stay past 5 o'clock.. well i'll be missing the show.. seeing them is more important anyways. FREAKING EXCITED.

hmmmmmmm i hung out with kris the other day.. that was awesome. I NEVER SEE HER ANYMORE! so we made plans to go shopping in toronto next saturday SWEEEEEET. i'll be just the two of us as a reminder of the last time we went HAHAHAHHAHAH SO JOKES.

ohhhhhhh i brought movie store boy a peanut butter and jam sandwich the other day. that was hot. i like having older friends who don't mind if i'm a dork. haha.

hmmm it's come to my attention.. actually mine and khala's.. that a lot of people think we're really cool... (i mean like the people we talk to but don't really talk to).. and we laughed about it for almost an hour.. because right before we were informed.. i started flopping on the floor screaming "i'm a dolphin".... HOW WRONG OUR PERCEPTIONS OFTEN ARE!

Dezzy

lesson of the week:

there is no way to MAKE someone care about you. the harder you try, the farther they go.

lesson of the day:

i thought i learnt the first lesson a long time ago. i thought i was a different person today than i was last year. i suppose some things will never change.

Dezzy

i broke my computer. it won't be fixed until at LEAST next friday. just thought i'd let you all know..

pluuus: working 7pm to 4am is actually working for me.. as i'm a night person.

BIG D NEXT WEDNESDAY!!! so excited

oh shit: also, be careful how you act in public as people you don't know may later try to tell people that they know you, and recite back the things you've done. DAMN.

Dezzy

i got a new e-mail, if i didn't add you i'm terriblly sorry, i was on the phone having a mad discussion about the meaning of life with andrew while i did my transfer, so if you weren't added, then it's either a) an oversight or b) i don't have your email... soooo add me! anti-nowhere@hotmail.com

ps: DOES ANYONE KNOW DAVE BUNGAY? i've been on a mad search for this kid for like the last 3 years, i doubt he even remembers me but i really want to just say thank you... so if you know him, either pass on my lj, myspace or e-mail, and if you either don't want to do that, or can't, then just tell him i say thank you, he won't understand, but it's something i really need him to hear. MUCH APPRECIATED.

Dezzy

is whitby really so ghetto that the transit system has to stop running at 7pm? come on!

andrew and mel came up to drink with me on saturday night and they almost got stranded here. they had to pay double the price to get back to oshawa because the regular transit stopped running, and above and beyond that the go transit starts running every hour.. which means we fucking stood in the cold for almost an hour and half before we finally got them on a bus. PISSED RIGHT OFF, AND SO FUCKING COLD. i hate whitby, why can't we just have a better transit system? i mean they up the fucking price, but we get nothing out of it!

i went on a better rant on myspace. HAHAH it was fucking awesome, cause i was cold and drunk and angry. buuut anyways... hope you all had a great st.paddy's cause mine fucking rocked harder than a pair of cameo socks.

Tootles

Dezzy